If you would have interviewed a 24-year-old Joshua D and asked him “Josh, what do you think of life coaches?” I would have replied, “fuck em”.
That’s a pretty bold statement, maybe even abrasive but “who do you think you are trying to tell me how to live my life?” is how I used to handle life coaching.
It’s fair to say I was resistant, I think growing up in the UK where “men figure out their own problems” and “I don’t need to talk about it” are very common ways to think, led me down the path to developing these beliefs.
If you were to interview a 27 year Joshua J Daniel Stanier and ask the same thing, my answer would be “Get one, get one now”. This blog post is going to explain the polar opposite belief shift.
When I was 21 I thought I was the best thing on planet earth. I had developed this belief that I always knew the answer to everything or I could at least formulate something that made sense. I believed I was the best at sport, the best with women, and better than everyone else.
In reality, I was broke, overweight, and not really enjoying my life.
Eventually, I had my wake up call via 2 years in the hospital dealing with stage 2 cancer. During this time, I had a lot of time to think and assess and think some more. What I started to realise was this - “I kinda sucked at a lot of things”. I didn’t know how to look after myself, I didn’t know how to make my own money & I certainly had no fucking clue about women other than “I put that in there”.
These realisations caused me to choose a new path in life. A path that would lead me to “financial freedom, prosperity and love”. Essentially my ideal world. I figured life was too short to remain caged by my faulty beliefs.
Along this journey I realised one unequivocal fact - “life is damn hard”. Especially if you are trying to achieve greatness (whatever that looks like for you). The path is filled with snake pits, bears and occasionally missing a credit card repayment which ends up costing you thousands in interest.
The road to glory is long and arduous but I made the decision to pursue it. I realised very quickly that to achieve victory I would need help and a lot of it.
Unfortunately for me, and you if you are traversing your pathway to your best self, this “help” is actually a commodity. The self-development, self-improvement and “learn to make money” industries are saturated with the next person in line claiming “I have the answer to your problems”. Which makes it difficult to know who to listen to and follow.
Spoiler - It’s likely not the clarnet on Instagram with 5 million followers and big lips.
During my time I’ve encountered many pretenders. To a certain extent I’ve been one too as I’ll explain in future blogs. (subscribe below for updates). These pretenders have cost me time, money, and energy that I can’t get back.
However, I have also met some world-class coaches who have and continue to transform my lives in so many ways I’m baffled. I would now like to explain the difference between these two sets of coaches because unless I’m not drilling it home, I believe you 100% need a coach.
In March of 2019, I spoke on stage at an event in London. Halfway through my speech, this dude walks in and I can sense his presence, even from the back of the room. No, I didn’t want to sex him up (maybe hehe) but I noted the feeling he instigated.
After my speech was done I made it my intention to seek this guy out. What surprised me most was the fact he actually seemed quite shy and intimidated by me. He may not remember feeling that but that is what my perception of him was. He was a little chubby and was by no means “a successful business owner” (this was a business event). But he had this “thing” about him that made me want to get to know him more.
Over the following months, I had the privilege of spending time getting to know this man. We lived together in New York & traveled to Hawaii together. During this time, I really started to get to know him. I discovered he was an ex-New Orleans Swat officer with the most ludicrous story and an unbelievable drive to improve himself.
This is where life coaching begins between Joshua J Daniel Stanier and Dylan W Joseph.
What I’m really good at is telling people who are good at shit, that they are good at shit. I’m like a hype man for good people. During our time together I pretty much kept trying to make Dylan see how powerful he is. I achieved this by talking, which is my preferred medium. (obviously).
I do not take any credit for what happened next because I didn’t do anything other than open a door for Dylan to walk through. Over the following months, Dylan has transformed his life to a point that it's pretty ridiculous. He’s now an expert high ticket sales closer, nearly at 10% body fat and has rebuilt & healed a lot of relationships. He achieved that through wild levels of self-discipline, commitment, and a shit tone of hard work…
… and guess what Dylan coaches right now? High ticket sales, discipline, and commitment. He has coached me on all aspects and honestly, it’s pretty annoying how much it works. The amount of times before a work out I’m like “maybe tomorrow” and Dylan’s voice pops up in this New York ish twang - “Dude, you didn’t come this far to come this far, stop being a pussy”.
Then I work out.
Collectively the coaching between Dylan and I have created north of $100,000 in our respective personal businesses. It helps create two unique companies that are driving true change. It’s helped free countless people from the beliefs that were holding them back from greatness and the majority of that has been done for free.
Overall, our coaching just works because we are practicing what we preach. The point I want to get across to you is this - “Life coaching is necessary but only listen to people who are doing (or have done) what they are telling you to do”. You can achieve this my merely observing or by asking questions before you choose a life coach.
If you do, follow someone who is walking their walk you will be blown away by the transformation you will experience. It will turbocharge your growth and help you create the person you want to be.
The real question is then, where do I find this life-coach who can help me?
I’d start with clarity calls. Anyone who offers 1-1 coaching should offer a free clarity call. This is essentially a session to see if you are a good fit for one another. If they don’t offer a free clarity call for 1-1 coaching, it’s usually a red flag. On this clarity call remember that you are the one in control, ask “what can you do for me?”, “How would you help me with (insert problem)?”.
If you feel you are a match, go for it & invest. It may take you a while to find the perfect fit but it is so damn worth it!
Thank you Dylan for being a life coach for me & thank you, fine folks, for reading.
To connect with Dylan more, please check him out on Instagram here.
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